First, there were the years with Manny and Jimmy, both now on the Dodgers.

Then came the years with C.C., Victor, "Raffy right" Betancourt, and Cliff Lee.

Now? Uh...um...well...65-97 leaves us fans with years of definite uncertainty. Everyone I built hopes on for our return to October glory left except for Grady Sizemore. With the Dolans in charge, the thought of Grady becoming one like Robin Yount or Tony Gwynn are highly doubtful. Where is this franchise going? I have no clear idea at the moment.

Still the thoughts of the teams remaining in the October fun give me players to choose to root for as the playoffs begin in about fifteen minutes.

Before I begin to comment about the players involved in October, one person asked me to comment about last week's dismissal of then manager Eric Wedge. Personally, I loved the guy. I worked on occasion for the club and loved the fact that whenever Eric would greet you, he would talk to you and with you, not at you or down to you. To me, it appeared that I was someone important to Eric, even though we never talked past the occasional "Hello" or "Good Luck". He always showed me respect and he shared this respect for his team, his players and his opponents. He respected the game of baseball and I will miss him.

Still I will not miss the slow April starts that the team showed under Eric in general and the lack of playoff appearances except in 2007. I remember the week I spent in Arizona so very well. I remember one game in particular when we sat right behind Eric and were upset throughout the game. There was a lack of urgency or effort on the Indians, or so it seemed. This was what I saw with Eric running the team, a lack of urgency to come out and win from the start. This was what I saw in Eric Wedge, a lack of urgency, excitement and it affected many of my friends and co-workers' decisions to not attend games.

Now onto October.

Looking into October, I see several Indians players and one Indians division rival in the mix which should make these playoffs worth watching. I will try to comment about each matchup focusing on these players and teams.

First leading off, we have the Rockies and Rafael Betancourt against the Phillies and Cliff Lee. I really like how the Rockies fought back to earn the wildcard spot. However, as much as I don't like the Phillies, I do love Cliff Lee. Cliff Lee gives a franchise so much hope. His leadership and presence on the mound are hard to write about in so many words. His leadership is so valuable. It does not surprise me why he leads off the NLDS series in Philly attempt to repeat last year's success. Good luck Cliff! I like the Phillies in this series.

The Dodgers have Manny, Jim Thome and of recent Indians' past, a man named Casey Blake while the Cardinals have Mark DeRosa. Two former third basemen for the Tribe. I love the matchup here. Where do I begin? So much to write about just about this series alone. We could start with the fact that Hall of Fame managers and players on on both these teams. (At least I think this to be the case) I like the Cards to edge out this series even if it is taken to the limit. Due to time deadlines I have set, I will end the talk here.

The Red Sox have Victor now. Boy I still am upset about this. He will go up against the Angels. I sure want Martinez to do well here. However one would believe the Angels would have enough to pull out this series. However, I have said this so much before and the Red Sox still pull it out. I want the Angels to win this series. Personal reasons. Sorry Vic!

Oh the Yankees and the money they spend for a man named C.C. I like to say these initials stand for "choke choke" I will be cheering for the Twins. After all, of all the former Indians, "Choke choke" is my least favorite. Perhaps it was the way he treated the fans when we asked for an autograph. He always acted so standoffish. After my experience with A-Rod in this same fashion, I can see why New York fits for C.C. Go Twins, be the David to their Goliath!

I may win, I may lose with these choices. However, I will definitely have fun watching while I steam about what the current owner had to let go in talent!

There have been many who have been concerned, e-mailing me, wondering why I have not responded in blog format about the Indians since July. I understand. My parents taught me if I had nothing good to say about someone, then I should not say anything at all. My anger has been intense toward the organization since the trades of Lee and then Martinez. After all, while so many want to move on from Cleveland, Martinez, at least it appeared wanted to stay here. Still the owner approved these moves to save payroll. He also said it will be hard to keep Sizemore here whom I always wanted to be a Robin Yount or Tony Gwynn-like figure staying with the organization throughout his career.

The back of my mind thinks that the owner wanted Sizemore to sit and see that we can still win without him, never mind that he needed surgery. Mr. Dolan, Grady is the best CF this organization has had since Kenny Lofton.

This season, it is hard to look forward to anything knowing this owner's track record of threatening the fans to trade players away if we do not come to the games. I work them. I go to others. Times are tough, Mr. Dolan. You punish us, the fans when you traded away Mr. Lee and Mr. Martinez. Your loyalty to Shapiro and Wedge are mind-boggling. However, in the poorest city in America, with a badbaseball team, a worse football team, one can wonder what Mr. Dolan wants.

After all, he only hopes that we go to the playoffs once every five years and wishes we can make it to the World Series and win it at the next big opportunity. Well some of us dream big, some 61 years and some like myself, all our lives just to say Cleveland:World Champ. When you have World Cheap as an owner, things just do not look bright for 2010 and beyond. They look bleak and gray and cold like this late September evening where there is still an long shot to make 70 for a win total.

So will I write more? I'm sorry to redstatebluestate for letting them down. I will write more. I am still so mad at Dolan though for what he has done as an owner.

A gentleman who is not on Facebook wrote me this letter. It read

Aaron,

"You deserve hazardous duty pay for withstanding that crap the Indians call baseball every time you have to work at Progressive Field. You have my sympathy! Calling them a class A team is a compliment to them and and insult to real class A teams."

He is not alone. You see Cliff Lee was given away for up and comers. Prospects are just that. Some pan out, some do not. Right now the sentiment I get from others is NEVER in this town, rather than perhaps. The thought is that Victor Martinez may go now also. Then what? This town deserves respect. We got a BIG slap in the face with this trade because it said to me "Management does not care that you worked 50+ games and then reinvested and brought your family down to see 10-15 games for the past year for a team that is close to the cellar." We traded away your reason for coming. Thanks anyway!

I keep thinking this team is like a bus whose driver has no clue where they are going and has no real destination for where they want to go. They want us fans to pay for the gas and repairs and we do because we have the dream to get to the top of the mountain. Now the driver still can't see and lost the map for how to get us to contend.

We want someone to get fired but still this has not happened. The owner want to put in cheap parts to help us get to compete, yet cheap quality is going to get us crap. No one really wants crap and no one is going to reinvest in crap. They want to spend money on quality, talented quality that is a proven winner or at least wants and is able to compete.

These players that the Indians have left have to wonder how could something so close in 2007 become so horrible in 2009. We will be lucky to get anyone to play for or watch this team with these types of deals.

Yet I still will go to work for them, perhaps being more alert for frustrated fans who may or may not come.

I love someone who does not quit. Unfortunately, this management has betrayed its fans and its players. The players have not quit. Why did the management?

Post Script: Some have the sentiment, this town has always been a loser, never a winner. The beat goes on....no major winner since 1964. Excuse! This city needs to stop enabling and allowing themselves to be labeled as the victim. This country did not become free by being a victim. It fought hard to be free. Freedom is not free, nor is a dream to be a champion. I guess fans, what we must do is fight hard to find opportunities to survive, to overcome, to find work, to help ourselves and stop waiting for governments and team managements to bail us out and bring us our opportunity for success on prospects and expensive dreams.

Whatever your beliefs about life and success, persevere and just don't quit! True champions are ones who work hard to perservere and not make excuses. Lee did that! So have most of the players that have played or are playing for the Indians.

Many like myself in Cleveland don't ask for bailouts or free health care or promises of championships. We want opportunities to earn respect, work hard, persevere, and overcome, to be a champion, with our own blood, sweat and tears.We want to earn our way to pay our own way. We want to be told no way and then show others the one unified team way. It may not be popular but it will be made right. Cliff Lee showed this with his determination. When everyone said no way, he stayed focused and made his way to the Cy Young and his team benefitted!

I say "Good Luck Cliff Lee" I will miss you and never forget what you tried to teach the team and fans.

It was the weekend I highly anticipated yet also deeply feared. I turned to my wife, "What will they think?" I said. "Who?", she replied. "My classmates, after all, I wasn't the class quarterback or valedictorian or even remembered that much."Don't expect much, its okay. Just be yourself and let what happens, happen." I felt I was too quiet at the pre-reunion fundraiser. Now was going to be different.

I decided to stay away on Friday. I was thinking Mitchells was an ice cream place and felt it was an odd place to meet my peers for a pre-reunion party. It was actually a bar. My debut was going to be at the high school for the tour. I just approached each person with confidence and lack of expectation or judgment. Treat each peer the way you want to be treated. Hi, I'm Aaron Kurth and you must be (name of person) I was remembering people. Thank God for Facebook and photographic memory. I was not going to be offended at all if they did or did not remember me. I was loving the fact that reconcilation and "equality" was taking hold. There was no more status for me anymore. I was not a jock or nerd or burnout or snob or yuppie or loser or preppie anymore. I am Aaron Kurth striving to be a father and hard-working husband, yet whatever status life gave these people, one thing is for sure, all these peers I was and am going to call friends of the greatest class I am proud to be with, Lakewood, Ohio High School Class of 1989.

One peer said "Don't you work for the Indians?" "Yes" I replied. "No offense but they suck." "You are not telling me nothing I don't already know this year so no offense taken." Still not intending to blog about the Tribe, it took a fan from Detroit to inspire me. "Hey, you are that blogger who writes about the Indians." I said "Yes, I am" She told me that she liked Curtis Granderson and the Tigers but also liked to read my blogs about the Tribe. I haven't written in forever, yet she liked my blogs.

Now without judgment or expectation, the reunion was very therapeutic because I felt like I was equal to these men and women. Sure there was my first love and my second love there and women I dreamed of asking out at one time or another and the atmosphere was electric, yet I felt great because I did not hold that expectation to these peers lifting me up or putting me down to their expectations. I was equal to them and never felt like I couldn't say hello and give a smile and a great confidence knowing I was part of their lives as they were mine.

So many times we place judgment on a team or players or each other and esteem is formed as well as a love for a player or team yet in the end, what matters is this, with each person that comes into our lives or player who plays for our favorite team, it is important that we had the opportunity to say "hello." I am truly thankful to those I had the chance to say "hi" to this weekend or play for my team as in the case of Ryan Garko. I wish I could have seen all of you and talked with you more at the reunion. As for the former Indian, Ryan Garko, best of luck! For the rest of you, remember "Carpe Diem" Never forget the purple and the gold!

As I write this entry, I am headed into New York City to see David Wright and the Mets go up against Tampa Bay and the Rays. I need to take a brief break from the Tribe as I tried to get tickets months ago for the Cubs' series and found out it was simply SOLD OUT!

That being said, I will get to see David Wright, my sister in-law's "heartthrob" put his top batting average up against the man Ben Francisco loves to see any time of the season.

This past week, I saw some of the worst bullpen action to date for the Tribe and boy am I frustrated. I cheered so hard these past three games trying to stay positive, yet each time, the team fell short.

Monday I thought back to my childhood and the local softball beer league games where the scores were outrageous and pitching was horrendous. There you would love to see all the runs and hits all night long. However, with the Tribe and two five run leads, giving up all these hits and runs was UNACCEPTABLE! It was like I was watching a campfire and the pitcher poured more gasoline on the mound and now should be charged with two counts of aggravated arson for the performance on Monday.

Tuesday, Jeremy Sowers proved he can only throw five innings tops and with the gasoline induced bullpen that brings more gas to the fire instead of putting fires out this season. Another blown lead and another loss

Wednsday, I went again. The Tribe fell behind early. There was a sarcastic lady near us in the ninth smack talking saying "We swept you" before the game was over. After hearing her, I just kept repeating under my breath, "God, please teach her a lesson" It was amazing how we were able to fight back to a tie. Yet when Ryan Garko drove in the runs that tied it up for us, I was so excited. Yet, just like the season, when we tend to get on a roll, someone significant goes down to an injury. Garko appeared to twist an ankle on the play. UGH! Eventually, we lost-----AGAIN!

Now the two teams whose fans often believe they are the most cursed as of 2009 meet in Chicago's Wrigley Field. Right now, they are in a delay as I write this.

The New York City traffic is busy as normal and its great to be back here. I look forward to seeing a National League team again. I often laugh that I always tend to see the National League during Interleague. Back in 2005, I saw Pittsburgh face Tampa Bay. I now will see the Mets face Tampa Bay and report my experience hopefully over the weekend. Happy Father's Day to all fathers out there. I know my father and grandfather have influenced my love for the game. I try to do the same for my son.

This week has been one where I was either working or watching ballgames live at a ballpark or playing the game or trying to catch up on rest. Whatever you may think, it has been a busy time.

Since I last wrote a blog, my thoughts were focused on Pavano pitching like the ace of the staff this year. What happens? He gets shelled. It was a night I wish I would have taken off early when working at the gate. Instead, I stayed and saw the worst game of the year so far performed by the team. The team gave up early and the effort given was inexcusable.

The next night, it was clear on paper that we were going to outdueled by Zack Greinke, a candidate for the AL Cy Young What happened? We got to him late and pulled off an upset thanks to Jhonny Peralta key hit to tie the game up with a shot that almost went off the left field wall. Shin Soo-Choo later hit a bird that was well publicized. It caught the attention of one of co-workers the next day saying they were a good luck charm. Also, he thought, it might be a sign that we need to change the name of the team to the Lake Erie Seagulls instead of the Cleveland Indians. Whatever results from this suggestion, the team more importantly won another series.

Friday was a spectacular night. The sun was shining. The atmosphere was buzzing. In were coming the St. Louis Cardinals. Someone told me without naming the source that nationally, the Cardinals were the third or fourth most followed team in the nation as a whole behind the Yankees and Dodgers at least. Although, I think the Red Sox are above the Cardinals in popularity, nationally. Anyway, scouting the Cardinals as I was, (Mind you, I am an amateur) I found the Cardinals to be a team where Pujols is the only one to worry about on that team. Hey he hit 2 homeruns and drove in a third to help the Cards score 3 runs while our team approach was good enough Friday to score 7. Game 1 of the series belonged to the Tribe.

Saturday I went to the game with my children and my wife. We sat in the upper deck to see Albert Pujols hit another two home runs. Someone please tell Wedge, the manager that it's okay to walk Pujols. Quit pitching to him. No one else seemed to hit that much. To solve the bird problem, the team kept shooting fireworks to keep the birds off the field and it worked. The effort offensively was not there this day and it resulted in a loss.
After the game, the birds were everywhere on the field as the fans including my family were treated to Major League. For Cleveland Indians fans, this will always be a classic.

Sunday afternoon, my family again attended a minor league game at Classic Park to see a game between the Lake County Captains and the Phillies affiliate from Lakewood, New Jersey. Lakewood is on their way to winning the first half of the South Atlantic League. The Captains fell behind early yet scored 4 in the bottom of the ninth to make it interesting and almost pull off a solid comeback. Wow, what a finish! Unfortunately it was not enough as the Captains fell short losing 9-7. Hey we were down 9-3 and were able to make it interesting at the end.

Sunday night, I needed a break from baseball. Yet I still wanted to watch to scout the Indians hitters since I needed to perhaps pick one to continue my streak from Beat the Streak. Here I was surprised to find how easily our team was getting to Chris Carpenter. On paper, I was thinking again that a loss might be ours. Why? Cliff Lee led the league in hits allowed and Albert Pujols was a hitting machine. Yet, this is not what happened. Instead, Mark DeRosa hit a two-run homerun and Kelly Shoppach hit a solo shot and had a double. This alone was enough to beat the Cards. Pujols and the rest of the Cards were almost no-hit by Cliff Lee. A three hit shutout was thrown by Lee on the second consecutive national television audience. What it meant was a third consecutive series win by the Indians. All I can say is WOW!

One nice thing to see from the Cardinals' series was the amount of Cubs' fans with DeRosa on the back of their jerseys amidst all the Cardinal fans that showed up. Way to go Tribe and way to go, fans!

Tonight, the NL Central leading Brewers are in town. Its' again time for Pavano to erase the poor start he had against KC. He will be going up against Dave Bush who lost his last four starts. Hopefully this series winning mentality will be continued. We shall see. Go Tribe!

When you have a limited amount of time to get your point across, you have have to choose carefully how to summarize a whole lot in short order. Such has been my blog lately especially today.

Half of baseball is 90% mental...Yogi Berra

The mental approach from the Tribe early on and later on by the Royals was terrible, yet when the mental errors are in your favor, it helps. Still early on I was not happy seeing the Indians fall down 4-0 and basically throwing away a golden opportunity to improve the team.

Still seeing the Royals return the favor was a welcome relief. The mental approach returned to the Tribe after their offense was uplifted by the Royals. What I envisioned as a big, big mess was turned into a big blast thanks to Mark DeRosa's grand slam.

I return to the park today excited that this streak can continue with this year's best pitcher on the team in Carl Pavano. He has been giving us ace-like outings and I hope this continues.

Keep the mental edge going and work hard to continue what you have started, Tribe! Keep the winning going!

Tonight as I was watching the Yankees show power over the Rays, I was enjoying the fact that the Indians were off for the first time in about a month and enjoying the fact that the Indians were coming off a series win vs. the White Sox taking two out of three games due to fast balls thrown right over the heart of the plate leading to back to back homeruns twice in yesterday's game and 8-4 win. The rookies on the team really shined with home runs from Luis Valbuena and Chris Gimenez followed by homeruns back to back from Victor Martinez and Shin-Soo Choo. What made it extra special was this offensive showcase was against Bartolo Colon, a former Tribe pitcher. These homers along with a defensive gem from Trevor Crowe helped the tribe shine to a series win.

Knowing the Royals are 1-9 in their last 10 games gives me confidence this series will also help our team overcome the odds, and come out on top. If we do then we should be out of the cellar. We shall see as our first adversary will be Brian Bannister. Good luck tomorrow, boys!

I wanted today to write about something more than just last night's game. After all, all I get from co-workers are cold blank stares or exclamatory statements such as "THEY SUCK!" Mind you, these people will be ones cheering them on when the team is in first place and winning the AL Central Division. Rather than try to sugar coat losses and make things sound greater than they should be, I wanted to prove to myself why the team was struggling besides the usual pitfalls that I have fallen for this season such as "simply fire the manager" as I have said in the past or "blame it on the injuries" or "the owner doesn't spend enough on true talent" or "they shouldn't have let "(place name here)former Indians player from the 1990's get away" or "blame the economy" or (fill in your own excuse here) as to why the Cleveland Indians are where they are today.

Here are some of the facts.

Combined from Level A ball to the majors, currently the organization as a whole is 135-142 with a .487 winning percentage. Akron at AA is the only team over .500 at 35-20 currently.

Two persons I thought were key to the Indians' success in the 21st century were Neal Huntington and John Farrell. As baseball fans already know, Neal is currently the Pirates' GM and John is the pitching coach for the Boston Red Sox.

Under John Farrell, (2001-2006)the Indians were named the minor league organization in 2003 and 2004 and was listed as the #1 farm system in 2003 by Baseball America. Now, the same person is consistently helping the pitchers of the Red Sox and led their staff to win the World Series in 2007, as painful as that is for me to admit.

Neal Huntington is under scrutiny for making a deal with the Braves for Nate McLouth. Time will tell how the the Pirates will do. I believe they will perform better sooner than later. One thing Huntington is doing is having the Pirates competing. At least I see it that way. Something he had helped the Indians do in 2005 and 2007. Yes we only won a title in 2007 but it was a lot more fun to go to the ballpark then. I really liked Huntington and Farrell and miss them both but still cheer for the team.

For all my whining, all the sighs, frowns, grunts, curse words, from others and myself, the outlook today for the Cleveland Indians at 24-33 and 6 games out of 1st place gives me great hope. That's right, GREAT HOPE! The true ace of the staff this year is Carl Pavano, well at least a #2 starter. Why, you may ask? Consistency. We can count on him to go out and give the team a boost. Now if only we could see this same effort from all parties today.

Today Jeremy Sowers will go out and try to give us another boost against Gavin Floyd. Hopefully if everything goes the Tribe's way, this performance will be repeated.

Chi White Sox IP H R ER BB SO HR ERA
Floyd (L, 2-3) 5.0 11 8 8 3 3 0 7.32

These were Gavin Floyd's numbers against the Tribe back on May 11th, 2009. Another thing to make a note against Floyd is his 6.65 ERA in day games. However, Gavin is much better at home than on the road. Today's game will be at home for him.

Sowers will take a 12.60 ERA for road games into today's action. I just hope he can give more of what he has shown against Tampa Bay and the New York Yankees today against the White Sox. His numbers however if the past is any indicator have also been shaky against the pale hose.

Cleveland IP H R ER BB SO HR ERA
Sowers (L, 0-2) 4.0 7 5 5 3 3 3 12.00

This game will be seen on Fox locally today. I am looking to see an offensive shootout with us coming out on top. Let's do it men in memory of Richard Jacobs!

My thoughts on Pronk:

Glad he finally arrived to take some pressure off Victor. I hope that he understands that he is truly a leader for our team. If consistency prevails for him, we should be that much better offensively. The question is IF! Well, I said in past blog entries that I had no expectations for this team so I should just sit back and enjoy this. I just want good health for him. After all, with Grady, Asdrubal and others either on the D.L. or struggling, seeing him hit that homerun is just what this offense needs. Now what we need from him is consistency. Here's hoping and praying this is the case.

My thoughts on Carmona:

I'm glad he is where he is as long as he gets straightened out. He was not showing his dominant side. I was hearing rumors about him from some people I work with who are close to him. He was not in a good place so this move was necessary if those stories were true. Rather than assume and speculate about their validity, I will just hope Fausto gets the help he needs to become the pitcher we need him to be.